You may not have cared much about Valentine’s Day in the past. All those throwaway cards, overpriced roses, and less-than-spectacular chocolate may have struck you as flagrant consumerism more than anyone else. Now that you’re divorced, your feelings may be different, because Valentine’s Day is now a reminder that you’re alone, with no one to buy these romantic symbols for you.
You may not want those flowers, and you may be allergic to chocolate, but you will probably have some difficult feelings to process on February 14. Here are some tips for getting through them so that you can go on to embrace this new stage in your life.
Take stock of how you feel
If the prospect of spending this Valentine’s Day alone makes you sad or angry, then take steps to limit your exposure to the celebrations. This could mean:
- Avoiding romantic comedies at the cinema or on Netflix
- Staying away from bars and restaurants with “couple’s specials”
One day in the not too distant future, these things won’t bother you, but if you’re newly divorced, then focus on other areas. You could treat yourself to a day at the spa, sign up for a yoga class, or plan a get-together with single friends.
Avoid social media
Friends who are married or in a relationship will be taking to Facebook and Twitter to proclaim their love for one another, so you may want to avoid these constant reminders that you are now single. If you still follow your former spouse, you should also resist the temptation to check out their profile to see if their relationship status has changed.
If you do like flowers and chocolate, then give yourself permission to indulge. Buy the biggest bouquet of your favorite flowers and a box of chocolates. If you don’t, get yourself something from your Amazon wish list and schedule it to arrive on Valentine’s Day.
Have fun with the kids
If you have children, let this day be about parental instead of romantic love. Smaller kids would love some help with making valentines with their classmates, while teenagers will always enjoy an opportunity for pizza and Netflix. You may be single at the moment, but you will always be a parent.
Although you want to avoid bitter feelings, it may also help to remember that there’s a reason why you are no longer married. Your former spouse was no longer right for you, but this doesn’t mean that you will always be alone. Taking care of yourself and being there for the kids will help you move forward during those first difficult milestones after divorce.
If you have questions about divorce, then contact the law office of Jayson Lutzky, P.C. at 718-514-6619. Mr. Lutzky is a Bronx, NY lawyer with over 36 years of experience. He offers free initial in-office consultations. Learn more at MyNewYorkCityLawyer.com/Divorce.